Married? Really?

I have to tell you that I am sitting in my slightly dark room with only the light from my laptop and the slight gloomy light that's trying to make its way through my curtains.

Today is the most overwhelmingly emotional day of my life. I have been happy, sad, excited, mournful, nervous, sweet, caring, shocked all in one day.

If you go back into my archives of this blog you will find a chapter in my life where I dated someone named Bryon. I loved Bryon more than I had or have to this day ever loved anyone else. But due to rather unexplained circumstances we broke up. My parents didn't approve of Bryon which made things really hard.

Looking back now I wish that I would have told my parents to leave me alone. I wish I would have listened to my heard instead of doing what I thought would make them happy.

Bryon is married now. See I have been trying to get a hold of Bryon for about a year now. I sent his cousin a message on myspace to see if he would help me and he didn't respond. I search online for any information. But it didn't really lead any where.

When we broke up he wasn't in the best position in his life. He lost his job and his apartment. Everything was all over the place. Since I cared about him I was always worried that he wasn't ok. I just wanted to know that he was.

So one night not that long ago I posted a random note on a classified website, craigslist.org. I didn't think that anything would come of it to tell you the truth. But I got a reply from a nice guy that just wanted to help but didn't know Bryon. He had some connections that he could use to help me. He got me a phone number and an address but it turned out it was old and the number was disconnected. Then I got another reply from someone saying that he worked in Dayton at a pet store and that he thinks he is married. I was kind of taken aback. But I wanted to find out if was true. The second guy emailed me back telling me which store he worked at.

I haven't talked to Bryon in two years and we talked today on the phone for the first time since then. He was at work but did confirm that he was indeed married and he said that he was happy. He asked me for my number so that he could call me back later. I gave it to him but I don't know if he will call me back.

It's not like this could really go any where. He is married. I love him. I can't come between a marriage and it would be hard as hell to just be his friend.

This sucks